Tuesday, May 18, 2010

The Bride to Be...

It was Friday afternoon at the Neiman Marcus Café. I met the “bride to be” for a consultation to create wedding vows for her July nuptials in Savannah. For lunch, she ordered the crab cake minis.  I started with the she crab soup followed by the chicken salad sandwich accompanied by fresh fruit.

Before we met, I explained to her the success of our meeting would depend upon how forthright she could be about past and her present relationship with her fiance.  She agreed that she could be honest about all.  She began telling me how they met.  She beamed as she talked about the man she's marrying and why.  Her tone was that of a woman that had loved and lost, but been restored.  She was emphatic as she explained why it works, and as she detailed why she waited "so long" to marry I interjected with questions about the relationship(s) prior to the one with her fiance.  She paused, laughed, then explained had she known how seemless a relationship was supposed to be she would've left her previous relationship sooner.  She even admitted that as a result of her prior relationships she anticipated drama in her current relationship until she accepted that "he" is not any of "them". 

Every relationship requires work, but they don't have to be drama filled.  We agreed that love is easy despite what we've been conditioned to believe.  It seems as if people "require" a certain level of drama in their relationship otherwise they feel something is missing and inevitably they sabotage it because it seems "too good to be true".  We pondered whether most people tolerate less (than they deserve) because they don't believe they'll be fortunate enough to get what they need or if they're simply impatient so they settle. 

As she revisited stories about her fiance I was able to gather this relationship was the complete antithesis of any she had ever participated in.  I could visibly see that she was grateful to be on the opposite side of dysfunction.

Congratulations again...

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  1. It's funny. I feel like that now. Like why did U put so much time and effort into losers who were not deserving. Years and years when they couldn't scratch the surface of what I wanted or needed. Congrats to the bride to be!

  2. ooooo congrats to her :) i can't wait until the day you write my vows :)

  3. Tara, had it not been for the our past we wouldn't be able to respect or embrace better.

  4. cheers to staying on this side of dysfunction!