"A Good Man"

My oldest nephew and I are only five years apart, so essentially we grew up together. Naturally, we argued and fought as kids. Partly because we were so close in age, and because we competed for more of my mother's (his grandmother's) attention. I often wondered what would become of him because he wasn't too fond of school, and was rather introverted. I'll never forget when he and his girlfriend (at the time) were expecting their first kid. He was 22 years old.



I remember thinking he wasn't ready to be a father because he was still quite dependant on my mom. She did so much to enable him. When I left for college, he lived with her rent free, she cooked for him, and did his laundry. I often told her, "you're crippling him...you're raising him to be a sorry man," but I was wrong. Becoming a father was the best thing he could've done for himself because it gave him purpose. It grew him up immeasurably. He became self sufficient. He made me proud. I'm not proud because he stepped up & took responsiblity as any father should've, rather, because he's a gentle father with his daughter...



and his three boys...



...something we don't often get to see because most men, unfortunately, believe affection or love translates to gay which couldn't be further from the truth. You're either born gay or you're not, generally speaking.

As my nephew and I have gotten older, we've developed a relationship that's allowed him to open up to me about most things going on in his life, especially as it relates to his wife and children. I encourage him to love his boys with the same vigor and level of affection he shows his one and only girl. Hug them. Kiss them. Show them compassion. Boys require the same love as girls. We've been conditioned to believe if they get too much they'll be soft, or worse, gay when the reality is they'll be coarse and callous. These little boys become men that are unable to express themselves to their own wives and children. My dream for my great nephews is that they love harder & more passionately. My hope is that they'll be the men so many women have been unable to find...

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