It's virtually impossible to compete with history. No matter how great we are, to get involved with someone newly single is a recipe for heartache. There's a great possibility the relationship may rekindle or worse, he or she just may not be over their past and you're left holding your heart in your hand.
It's a process getting comfortable with being single. It's difficult being alone with your thoughts. Going to bed alone night after night without any prospects of meeting someone new can be challenging, but it's necessary for personal growth and closure.
"Single" can be good to you...
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I believe in having realistic expectations for people and the purpose they serve in my life.
ReplyDeleteWith that being said, when you meet a brother who recently became single and you are attracted to him and have an interest in him:
1. Identify the purpose you want him to serve in your life (friend, sex partner, potential partner, etc.)
2. After having identified the purpose you want him to serve, set realistic expectations.
3. Evaluate those expectations when you begin to percieve that he is not serving the purpose you want him to serve in your life.
4. Remember that when he is not serving the role you want him to serve in your life, it is important that you evaluate your expectations of him and determine if they are currently realistic.
5. Often times, we want to blame him when he is not serving the purpose we want him to serve. However, it is actually about whether or not we have realistic expectations of him.
I do agree that having the ability to be single is important. For me it is frustating at times. After witnessing friends who have a hard time being single, it has helped me to realize that having the ability to be single is a sign that I have standards and would not settle for a person who does not add value to my life.