The Straight & Narrow...

 

I heard someone say many years ago that he didn't feel comfortable at events or clubs with mostly "straight" people.  I didn't understand it then, and certainly not now.  I attended a private event that was incredible because of the ingenuity. It was called "Eat & Tweet" hosted by chef Bren Herrera.

She prepared traditional Cuban dishes for the evening: Saffron couscous with sauteed mushroom and Picadillo (a ground beef dish complete with olives and raisins).

The concept was one I had never considered.  It was a wine and chocolate pairing.  All of the wines were Montaluce (Merlot, Cabernet, Chardonnay, and Risata) of northern Georgia with an assortment of Cholive chocolates; Key Lime, Raspberry and Orange to name a few.   

Bren explained that we should sip the wine, allow it to coat our tongue, taste the chocolate, then sip the wine again as the chocolate melted in our mouths.  Delicious!  

As we mingled, we "tweeted" pictures as well as our opinions of the wines and chocolates we enjoyed.  Most importantly, we networked.  There was a celebrity journalist, photographer, songwriter/producer, chef (Bren), among others present.

Once the wine relaxed everyone the conversation shifted to dating, relationships and marriage.  It occurred to me, yet again, we all want and worry about the same thing-companionship. 

We discussed the complexities of dating in this era and in this city.  Surprisingly, their concerns are the same as our concerns: hook ups, text dating, and the many layers one has to peel through in order to get to the real person. 

One guy asked if it was appropriate to walk up to a group of women, introduce himself with the sole purpose of connecting with one of them.  One of the females pondered why she's single, has been single, and has no prospects of a relationship.  I couldn't help but notice the obvious parallels in straight and gay relationships.  I've heard so many gay people say, "It would be easier if I was straight."  Not so.  The reality is it's hard finding someone that's found themselves, straight or gay.  That's life.  Moreover, the gay people that think dating or relationships would be easier if they were straight are typically the ones that don't have a balance of straight and gay friends.  Those of us that have that balance see our issues are their issues.

Here's to living a balanced life. Cheers!

For more information on Bren the host & culinary genius: http://brenherrera.com/

Photography by: Chieu Lee

Follow me on Twitter: @therealcstewart

Peace of Mind...

Lauryn Hill said it best, "Fantasy is what people want, reality is what they need..."

For whatever reason, we all believe at some point it’s easier to hide in the closet. Life would somehow be simpler if we manufacture a life others would deem acceptable; straight. To live a life that doesn’t belong to you because your focus becomes hiding your authentic self (by masking who you were created to be) for the purpose of pleasing people that will always have criticism whether you’re gay or straight, isn’t living at all.

Coming out doesn’t require a bold statement to the world. It doesn’t mean flamboyance, and it doesn’t mean becoming less of a man. It means freedom to be who you are, as you are without care or concern for what others think. A friend of mine once told me coming out relieves the pressure from family asking when we’ll be married or have children (in the traditional sense). It gives the world a truer sense of who we are. When we conceal that piece of ourselves, we cut important people out in a way that they never truly know us. There’s something special about coming out and your mother accepting you. When your mother accepts you, you can live fearlessly against the world and what “people” think.

After I told my mom I was gay, I made a quick visit home to Maryland for a holiday, but I missed some of my family members on that visit. A few days after I returned to Atlanta I received a piece of mail from my aunt Coretha. I had no idea what she could be sending me. I had never received mail from her prior to that. It was a floral envelope with a matching piece of stationery. I had just walked through the door of my apartment. I was standing in the middle of the living room as I opened it, still pondering what she had to say to me in a letter. Seemed pretty formal, I remember thinking. “Why didn’t she just call?”

It was dated. It was simple and to the point. She said she tried to call to catch me before I made it back to “Hotlanta”. She continued with,

“We as a family love you, inspite of what some may not understand. To hell with the others.”
Love,
Aunt Coretha

I smiled and said, “Wow…”

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