I’ve found the person I was,
before I came into what’s been called “The life”.
The person that exercised sexual restraint; boundaries.
One that didn’t abuse sexual opportunities
because he could.
Finally realizing, again, my worth.
No longer allowing myself the excuse
“because everyone else is doing it.”
It, being the internet or any other vice
so many of us get tangled in indefinitely.
A web of confusion & uncertainty,
hoplessness, emptiness & despair
because we, as a community,
don’t know our worth & because we don’t
know our fair market value we subject ourselves
to the most scurrilous & salacious predicaments
found in the gyms, on the internet, public parks or
some stranger’s house.
I lowered the bar because I grew tired of waiting
to be with someone worthy, deserving even, and
I knew the bar was too high for most to even reach;
for many to even attempt.
I wouldn’t trade my experiences
for nothing in the world because I gained
a better sense of who I am,
what I need,
and what I can do without.
I realize in all my past experiences
I was the common denominator and my role,
I thought, was to save, but I can’t save anyone from themselves.
No longer can I afford to dream a bigger dream
for someone that doesn’t dream for themself…
