The Otherside, Part 1

I was 22 and only knew three people when I moved to Atlanta. I began writing for a theatre company so I met quite a few people quickly. Most of the guys in the group were gay. I shied away from the obvious ones. I barely spoke to them because in my mind any association with them meant I too was gay. There was one guy in particular, Clinton, that always stared at me, and his gaze was accompanied by a half smile. Whenever our eyes met, I quickly looked in a different direction because he made me very uncomfortable. I’ve come to understand my behavior was similar to the insecurities of men I see now that live heterosexual lives, but enjoy the company of a man too. Usually, if a man is uncomfortable around a gay man, he’s unsure of himself or he’s hiding a secret that only a gay man can uncover.

One of the girls in the theater company introduced me to a guy that was openly gay, but not “clockable” per se so, it was easy for me to hang out with him. For several months, Khalid made every attempt to show me around Atlanta because I was new to the city; had no family or friends in the city; and instinctively he knew I was gay.

Khalid came to my apartment one night unannounced. I was living in Vinings. I was sleeping when I heard a knock on the door. I opened the door, and he walked in before I could invite him in. I asked, “What are you doing here?” He replied, “We’re going out. Put some clothes on.” He went on to say he wanted to take me to a gay club because he knew I was gay. “You are gay, aren’t you?” he asked. There was a pregnant pause. Because I had never “acted” on the feelings I said, “No.” He followed with, “Well, I am. In fact, I’m bisexual.” There was a freedom in his voice that I admired. Before I knew it, I was dressed & we were seated on the patio of “The Otherside”.

A week later, on a Wednesday night I found myself back at that club. This time I was alone. I wasn’t ready to let Khalid know I enjoyed this gay club. That same night, I met the first dude I would go on a date with. He was 31, nine years my senior. I saw him from across the room long before he noticed me. Up to that point, I had only seen one guy, in college, that I thought I would make an attempt to date, and he was supposedly straight. So, to see someone else that I was drawn to was huge for me at the time. He had on a cut off shirt, blue jeans with a whole in the knee (it was 1998), and some Timbs. I remember thinking, “If he says something to me, I’m giving him my number.”

Before I had time to really enjoy the thought another character came over to me. We talked. About what, I don’t recall. While we were talking I noticed “the guy” sitting behind the dude I was speaking to, and he was trying to get my attention. He was mouthing, “Are you with him?” I smiled, and shook my head no…

...TO BE CONTINUED

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The Lost Ones...

Ever wonder what happens to the "kids" that get comfortable enough to come out, but never evolve because they get stuck in the trappings of "the life"? Seems the more we become comfortable with our sexuality, enter further into gay life, acquire more friends, the more apt we become to abandon our core values. The foundation for which we were raised upon. Many become people their own families wouldn't recognize because they participate in the most unlikely behavior. Some get caught in the web of one or more scenes, club; ball; house; credit card/check writing/boosting; drug; prostitution/escort; internet cultures in search to find ones placement as a gay person. It's almost a rights of passage from the heterosexual world to the homosexual world that we all experience in one form or another, but some get stuck without ever fully matriculating.

Young adults moving to Atlanta or some other heavily gay populated city to sew their "gay oats". Equipped with big dreams of graduating from an esteemed college/university or pursuits of success in the entertainment industry, inevitably, he gets lured into a life he didn't fully choose, but curiosity of "the life", and some of its predators choose him. All of this made possible because in many cases there was no strategy or plan of action when he left his small town to move to the big city, the family network was shattered after he came out or the family connection was so disjointed there was no line of defense available to help repel these vices when they surfaced. Sadly, the big dreams dwindle to hopes of an apartment with a nice car, fly clothes & a boyfriend. Unable to cope when his new, unfamiliar face (to the scene)becomes familiar on the scene he resorts to any & everything to make his life interesting again...



These young kids (oftentimes) becoming the same ones in jail, 38 years old still and "walking balls", preparing for "pageants", grown men preying on young boys in the nightclubs (for 18 & older crowd) because they got lost in the cycle.

At what point is it time to grow up, and graduate to the next level? Everyone gets lessons at different times, but there has to be a point one says to himself, "It's time to let it go."

The saddest reality, most won't get it until it's too late...

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